The picture of a half-shaven man with wide, frightened-looking brown eyes pops up on the screen, obstructed by a rather distracting spiderweb-crack pattern. He squints for a moment, shakes his head, and squints again.

"Sorry, the screen's a little broken...you're new here, aren't you? Um. Don't bother looking for intelligent life around this place. Sentient, yeah, but not...um...not...intelligent."

There's a pause as he trails off.

"Anyway, I'm Harry. Who're you? What's your name?"